


To Abscond With Sanity

by herecomestroublr



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fluff, How To Save Karkat 101, Kankri Rants, Kissing, Shocked Karkat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 17:31:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12916791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herecomestroublr/pseuds/herecomestroublr
Summary: “Dave? I’ve met him! He’s really… umm… what’s the word?” Meulin made a disgusted face, then snapped and began signing furiously. “Insufferable! Just like Kankri! Poor Vantas, poor other Vantas! If only he knew how to get Kankri to shut up.”You stopped her hands from moving. “Kankri? What the hell is he doing?!” You let her hands go and waited for her.“He met his dancestor a while ago, and he’s been talking his ear off for a while now. Poor other Vantas! If only he could wake up!"





	To Abscond With Sanity

**Author's Note:**

> Brief history; you had gotten Kankri to try out dating before entering the game, and are the only one(other than Latula) who knows what to say to get him to calm down and shut up. 
> 
> It was originally not going to feature Kankri's quirk, but I needed to differentiate, and it's not that hard to read either.
> 
> I've been reading homestuck again, and the first flash where you play as meenah inspired this

“—So anymew, she was really fun! But her meowrail sweat a lot, and made me uncomfortable.” Meulin signed. Then added, “Have mew meet your dancestor yet?”

You smiled and nodded. “Yeah! She keeps stalking the human with the shades. Dave, I think? But she’s really cool. Not aware of her mind-powers yet, but I’m planning to tell her when I see her next.” You wiped some hair from your face, and scratched your nose. 

“Dave? I’ve met him! He’s really… umm… what’s the word?” Meulin made a disgusted face, then snapped and began signing furiously. “Insufferable! Just like Kankri! Poor Vantas, poor _other_ Vantas! If only he knew how to get Kankri to shut up.”

You stopped her hands from moving. “Kankri? What the hell is he doing?!” You let her hands go and waited for her. 

“He met his dancestor a while ago, and he’s been talking his ear off for a while now. Poor other Vantas! If only he could wake up! But Dave said he hasn’t slept in a while…” She slowly stopping signing at your exasperated look, then signed, “He’s still in the Prospit memory.”

You thanked her, and ran off. After suplexing Cronus and helping Mituna (who Cronus had been messing with), you made it to the bubble that contained Kankri. After asking Porrim where he was, you continued through the maze of halls.

Muffled sounds came from around a corner, and you sighed. Finally in view, Kankri was there, ranting in his red-sweatered glory. A shorter troll who you assumed to be his dancestor looked on the verge of a mental breakdown, and Meenah was in the background hiding behind a pillar, looking really annoyed. 

When Meenah saw you, her ear-fins perked up and she waved madly, before ducking back behind the pillar when Kankri noticed movement and turned in her direction. 

“I c9uld have sw9rn I saw…” Kankri mumbled, but shrugged and turned back to the young troll who looked so much like him. “Anyway! Where was I? 9h, yes—”

“Kankri?” You cut him off before he could continue. 

Kankri’s eyes widened and his shoulders straightened, a smile adoring his features. “[Name]! There y9u are! Have y9u met Karkat yet? He seems t9 6e a very l9yal disciple, and has stayed here f9r h9urs listening t9 my essays! I mean, participating in this c9nversati9n.” 

You looked at who was apparently Karkat, and smiled apologetically. “Hello, Karkat! I’m [Name], the ancestor of [Your Dancestor]. I hope Kankri hasn’t kept you here for long.” 

Karkat blinked, seemingly coming out of his shock. “OH. HI.”

You laughed as he looked at you awkwardly. “Hi there.”

Kankri cleared his throat. “While it was l9vely t9 see y9u, [Name], I must c9ntinue with this c9nversati9n, as we are c9ming up9n s9me imp9rtant inf9rmati9n—” 

You tried to hold back a smile, and gently placed a hand on Kankri’s arm. “Kankri, not that I don’t encourage you to teach others, but weren’t we going to go on a date?” You  
pouted up at him, hoping that would get him to leave Karkat alone. 

“WAIT, DATE?” Karkat exclaimed, clearly surprised. “HOW THE _FUCK_ DID YOU HAPPEN TO GET A MATESPRIT?” 

You saw Kankri’s nose scrunch up, and sighed. “Kankri—”

“ _EXCUSE_ ME? What the _hell_ d9 y9u mean 6y that?! I am perfectly capa6le 9f—” And there he goes. 

You sighed and turned to Karkat, who looked ready to kill himself, and glared at him. “I was trying to help you, dick.” You whispered, although it wasn’t necessary as Kankri was practically yelling as he paced the room, and wasn’t paying you any attention.

“Fuck. Shit. Sorry.” Karkat whispered, in what was honestly just a normal volume of speaking. 

You glanced at the pillar behind Karkat, and shuffled towards Meenah, making sure Kankri didn’t see you. “Meenah? Are you still there?” 

Her head popped out and grinned at you. “Hey, [Name]!”

You smiled. “I’ll distract Kankri, and when he’s thoroughly distracted, grab Karkat and abscond.”

“Karkat? You mean Mr. Shouty McNubs?” She whispered, still partially hidden behind the golden pillar. 

“Yes,” You sighed. “Mr. Shouty McNubs. Can you do that?” 

Meenah grinned again, and saluted you. “You got it, Captain!”

Satisfied, you turned away to see Kankri gesturing widely and Karkat looking absolutely miserable. Walking towards Kankri, you reached a hand out and grabbed him. He physically stopped pacing, but didn’t stop talking. “Kankri.”

“—It just appalls me h9w rude y9u c9uld p9ssi6ly 6e 9n the su6ject 9f quadrants, 9r that 9f my 9wn matespritship!”

“Kankri.”

“—F9r y9ur inf9rmati9n, I w9rked _very_ hard t9 6e where I am with [Name], and w9uld appreciate it if y9u didn’t slander my capa6ilities t9—"

“ _Kankri._ ” You growled, getting annoyed with his ranting, and shooting another glare at Karkat. 

“—Just 6ecause y9u might 6e having tr9u6les with y9ur quadrants d9esn’t mean that _I_ am!” 

Drastic times call for desperate measures, you guess. In a flash, you had grabbed Kankri’s face with your hands and tugged him down to kiss you. His white eyes widened for a moment, before he relaxed and closed them, pulling you closer and kissing back. You gave a thumbs up, and heard Meenah and Karkat abscond from the little foyer you had gathered in. 

Sighing in relief, and what Kankri thought was bliss, you wrapped your arms around his neck and tilted your head. After a few more minutes of making out, Kankri seemed to finally realize where he was.

Pulling his face away quickly, Kankri looked around, and frowned when he saw no one. “[Name]! Why’d y9u d9 that?” He exclaimed, no real anger in his voice. “N9t that I didn’t enj9y it, 6ut why?” 

“Meenah need Karkat’s help with something.” Not necessarily a lie, but Kankri didn’t need to know. 

“9h, well, he c9uld have said s9! I w9uld have happily given him a sh9rtened versi9n 9f my essay.” He didn’t even correct ‘essay’ to ‘conversation’ that time. Wow, Kankri.

You pursed your lips and papped his cheek. “Sure, Kankri.” You freed yourself from his arms, and began to trek back towards the park memory that you had previously been in. 

Kankri almost immediately tugged on your wrist and pulled you back towards him. “Excuse me! Where d9 y9u think y9u’re g9ing?” Kankri asked, smirking at you when you tilted your head back to look at him. 

You grinned playfully. “To finish my chat with Meulin?” 

“Y9u see, that just w9n’t d9!” Kankri twirled you around, and began a haphazard dance with you.

“Really? And why is that?”

“Well, my dear matesprit,” He twirled you out, then back into his arms before waltzing again. “I can’t exactly let y9u g9,” He paused, then dipped you and smirked, white eyes gazing into your own matching ones. “With9ut punishment.” He whispered, sending shivers down your spine. 

You could almost imagine the intensity his eyes would be if he was still alive—bright red irises twinkling with mischief—you shuddered and felt yourself flush. “O-oh?” Shit, you hoped he didn’t notice you stutter.

Kankri’s smirk widened. He did, in fact, notice you stutter. “Yes.” He lowered his face dangerously close to yours, and you felt his breath against your lips. “ _Severe_ punishment.”

“OH, EW! GROSS! GET A FUCKING ROOM IF YOU’RE GOING TO PAIL! OH MY FUCKING _GOD_ WHY IS EVERYONE I KNOW SO FUCKING _EMBARRASSING?_ WHY CAN’T THEY GET IT THROUGHT THEIR THINKPANS THAT MAYBE, JUST _POSSIBLY_ , NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THIS?!” 

Kankri dropped you in surprise. “[NAME]! Shit! S9rry! I’m s9rry!” He knelt down and checked your head for injuries, as it had hit the floor upon impact. Deeming you alright, he scowled and turned to glare at Karkat. “H9w l9ng have y9u 6een there? D9 y9u kn9w h9w TRIGGERING it is t9 6e _SPYED_ 9n?!” 

As Kankri yelled at Karkat for potentially endangering you, and invasion of privacy, you gave Meenah the most blank stare you possibly could. 

Meenah began to sweat nervously, and leaned away from you in fear. 

“Meenah?” You deadpanned from the floor, choosing not to stand up. 

“Y-yeah, [Name]?” She stuttered. If her eyes weren’t solid white, they’d probably be avoiding your face. 

“Do you even _understand_ the definition of abscond?”


End file.
